Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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