I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
