We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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