if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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