and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
