he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
