i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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