Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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