Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
