god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
