just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
