Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
