OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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