There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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