did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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