i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish you could order shots online.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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