Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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