This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
