So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
