Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
