I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
