i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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