Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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