nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
