Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
