Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
