At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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