I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
