these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
