the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish you could order shots online.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We don't watch enough power rangers
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i believe in u and ur pee
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
