The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
