If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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