so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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