I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm passing your future prison.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
