what day is it and did you see me today?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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