Yo dont text me then not text me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
