I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
