I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
