Non-Jews are for practice
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
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