I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
