Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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