We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I love you. Go after that dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
