Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
