Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
