Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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