Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
