Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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