genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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