i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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