he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
