is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish my penis had a tongue
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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