they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
