thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize