Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(626): View more from California

I bet he comes in French.

Fav 5 2142 836
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg

Fav 48 971 3636
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

Fav 17 3121 3953
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

(352): View more from Florida

And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

Fav 8 5421 1468
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

Fav 7 1379 4424
share tweet
(650): View more from California

I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.

Fav 7 1784 937
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

Fav 16 1585 1164
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer

Fav 5 492 1257
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.

Fav 1 26 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT