Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense