Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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  (650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4
  Replies (31) Good night (6255) Bad night (2109)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.

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  (647): Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts. http://tfl.nu/g67r
  Replies (16) Good night (6479) Bad night (1030)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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  (254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs
  Replies (29) Good night (2766) Bad night (2141)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now

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  (406): let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now http://tfl.nu/70jp
  Replies (2) Good night (2854) Bad night (729)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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  (305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix
  Replies (14) Good night (4046) Bad night (1033)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US

  (281): View more from Texas

  WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW

  (281): View more from Texas

  THE REISLING ATRACEX US

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  (281): JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US (281): WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW (281): THE REISLING ATRACEX US http://tfl.nu/6tcy
  Replies (21) Good night (2183) Bad night (1263)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2686) Bad night (1164)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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  (423): I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees http://tfl.nu/90bg
  Replies (8) Good night (2624) Bad night (939)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today

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  (906): Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today http://tfl.nu/n5yz
  Replies (7) Good night (518) Bad night (942)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (1380)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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  (610): Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos? http://tfl.nu/shbv
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (680)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...

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  (905): The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that... http://tfl.nu/6jhl
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (324)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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  (801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (281)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

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  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (342)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (311)

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