You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
did i walk over a car last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling