Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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(713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg

Replies (55) Good night (1586) Bad night (2645)
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(917): View more from New York City

Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS

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(917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS http://tfl.nu/k9df

Replies (97) Good night (1700) Bad night (7627)
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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(301): There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself http://tfl.nu/388v

Replies (50) Good night (706) Bad night (5451)
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(813): View more from Florida

She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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(813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89

Replies (19) Good night (7316) Bad night (1170)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?

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(732): He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it? http://tfl.nu/l4jt

Replies (13) Good night (2432) Bad night (1299)
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(206): View more from Washington

before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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(206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10

Replies (14) Good night (2072) Bad night (728)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!

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(203): I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish! http://tfl.nu/uppy

Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (689)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

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(337): Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird. http://tfl.nu/9vhr

Replies (12) Good night (2354) Bad night (1084)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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(+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q

Replies (5) Good night (1562) Bad night (543)
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(816): View more from Missouri

We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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(816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4

Replies (3) Good night (1243) Bad night (456)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!

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(412): The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!! http://tfl.nu/4cxl

Replies (7) Good night (709) Bad night (976)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...

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(404): I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle... http://tfl.nu/sqj1

Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (681)
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(956): View more from Texas

So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.

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(956): So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom. http://tfl.nu/5pcj

Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (313)
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(585): View more from New York

AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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(585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr

Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (219)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand

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(775): He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand http://tfl.nu/fp7g

Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (139)

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