I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
