I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
