Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
