11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
