so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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