im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize