Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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